Impossible

by Tiffanny Haacker

I was still drunk when they brought me in here. They better give me the cop’s camera footage in court, I know that cop won’t get away with this. Tammy better call my uncle too, so he can get me out of this shit mess.

“Have you called my uncle yet?” I asked my wife. “You do understand that I’m in jail, right?”

But she did not answer me. She only asked how I was doing and making small talk. That stupid cunt better get me out of here.

The next call was her crying about how no one will help co-sign for the bail bondsman because she was never capable of getting a real job. If Tammy doesn’t figure out a way of getting out of here, her and our boys will be on the streets starving. The sooner I can get out, the sooner I can get back to work.

“Did you call my work?”

“I would if you would give me the password to your phone, Ben.”

“I told you already! I don’t remember the password!”

“Right. Well, the boys miss you. We love you.”

She better not tell our kids that I’m in jail. She needs to be spending her time on finding a bondsman that will take my truck title as collateral or do more DoorDash and come up with some money.

“Sell the guns and boats, you should make enough to get me out of here!”

“I’ve already sold all the guns, Ben, I had to get groceries and pay the car insurance, and no one is interested in the old boats that don’t work. We just don’t have the money or means to get you out of there right now, you’re stuck Ben. I’m doing everything I can.”

“Tammy! You realize you and the boys will be ruined if I don’t get out of here and get back to work, right?”

“Ben, I called Todd, he said you don’t have a job anymore. It’s been three weeks and the secretary at the DA office said you refused the court appointed lawyer. Why wouldn’t you do that? They will push out your court date again.”

“I didn’t refuse anything! The system in here is fucked up and they are never going to let me out unless you bail me out!”           

“I have to go to New Mexico, Ben, I can make it here on my own, if I go stay with my dad for a while, I can get back on my feet, and he said he’s already got me three job interviews up there and he can help me with the boys. I can’t afford to stay here; the boys are what I need to think about right now. Especially not knowing when you’re going to get out of there.”

She’s leaving. That stupid, selfish cunt is leaving. Does she really think she can just take off with my kids? I’m going to report them kidnapped if she takes them. What was she thinking? She’s going to move to the big city and get a big city job? She has no experience in anything other than wiping children’s asses and serving beers.

“I got the job, Ben!”

“Great, now you can save up enough to get me out of here.”

“Ben, you got locked up and left me with nothing! Not a dime, not a plan, not a care. And all for what? So you could get drunk and fight some guy? Was it worth it? Was it worth all of this? The only thing that is more impossible than leaving, is staying. I am cleaning up the mess you have left for me.”

“So that’s it? I’m just stuck in here forever? Come on now, Tammy!”

“I’m sure you can manage to ask for a court appointed lawyer, stay out of trouble, and try not to kill anyone again. I love you Ben, but I love the boys more.”